Paul Ryan bailing out as the heat gets turned up?

In light of today's blockbuster story in Politco Magazine that said a prominent Wisconsin politician might be leaving DC in a year, I could say a lot, but I'd rather forwar you to someone that'll say it better than I - the great Charlie Pierce of Esquire's political page. And as a fellow Irish Catholic (albeit one that actually graduated from college in Wisconsin, unlike Ryan), Pierce sees through Purty Mouth Pau-lie, starting with a piece of spin in this clearly-planted story from Ryan's folks that tries to claim he might leave Congress to spend more time to "come home" to the Midwest.

On a personal level, going home at the end of next year would allow Ryan, who turns 48 next month, to keep promises to family; his three children are in or entering their teenage years, and Ryan, whose father died at 55, wants desperately to live at home with them full time before they begin flying the nest.

Isn’t that just too fcking sweet for words? Of course, young Paul Ryan had Social Security survivor’s benefits to live on when his pappy kicked and, once again, you’re welcome, dickhead. And I’m sure that his own children have excellent health care in his magnificent Georgian Revival home back in Janesville. I tell you, I’m almost as moved as I was when Ryan washed some clean pots and pans at that soup kitchen, or those several times when he dropped by impoverished neighborhoods in order to have his picture taken there.

Also, I’m sure that the fact that, in 2018, all indications are that his party will be facing a bloodbath in the midterm elections, and that the abomination of a tax bill that is his crowning achievement will be one of the party’s larger millstones, have absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Paul Ryan’s giant, if remarkably delicate, intellect suddenly can no longer handle the hurly-burly of everyday politics. Good god, this man could not be a bigger fake if he were made of papier-mâché.

Soooooo punchable

May I add that Paul Ryan hasn't had an actual job based in Wisconsin since he was driving the Wiernermobile in college, more than half his life ago? Ryan is a DC insider and donor puppet all the way, and it is laughable how the Politico article portrays Ryan as some kind of principled individual that has been run down by the dysfunction in DC. Bubble World BSers like Ryan are the CAUSE of that dysfunction, and the wreck that it is threatening to heap on the country with awful ideas like this Piece of Shit tax bill and the cuts in Social Security and Medicare that will follow.

Pierce also laughs at the Politico article's suggestion that the 2012 GOP candidate for Vice-President was thinking of leaving Congress after Ryan and Mitt Romney got thumped by Barack Obama and Joe Biden.

Wait a minute. He was running for a job that would have kept him in Washington for eight years—and that would’ve made him the frontrunner for the top job that would’ve kept him there for eight more—but only after he and Mitt Romney lost did he decide that Janesville and his 13 rooms were a’callin’ him home? That dog sleeps on the porch. There are those of us who recall that Ryan was such a flop on the national stage that Joe Biden laughed at him in a debate, and that he couldn’t even carry his home precinct for the ticket.

And no matter how much gauzy nonsense is spun about how reluctant he was to become Speaker, Ryan knew that the only way to maintain his utterly unearned reputation as an intellectual, while simultaneously dismantling everything about government that he opposed at a theological level, was to become the smartest chimp in the monkeyhouse. That was something he did. And now he and his owners have scored their biggest victory. People he doesn’t even know will suffer for years because Paul Ryan was Speaker of the House. People he doesn’t even know may well die because of it. But he has that one happy moment in which Paul Ryan, threw his head back and slammed his hands together [when the House passed the original version of the Piece of Shit tax bill].

Quite a trick, for an unusually sophisticated marionette.

Well said, Charlie. And Paul Ryan is trying to get out before the voters in SE Wisconsin get the chance to kick his ass out in 2018, and before he presides over massive GOP losses in the House and has to be seen giving the gavel over to Nancy Pelosi or whatever other Dem would become Speaker.

Besides, it allows his to cash in and get a helluva lotta Koch money as a nice reward for all of the windfall profits, tax cuts, and pay-to-play favors he has shoveled to oligarchs over all these years. And he gets to avoid all acountability for the damage he has caused. Now THAT'S a uniquely American story, isn't it?



And oh yeah, Ryan and other bought-off GOPs are apparently so desperate to give the farm away to his donors and other owners that they will raise taxes on people even sooner, to make the tax scam's numbers add up, and only need 50 votes to pass the Senate.

So in all sincerity, if you are bailing out after all the damage you have inflicted on this country, there is only one fitting response that is legal. And that is, "Fuck you, Paul Ryan."