Thursday, March 3, 2011

Scott Walker = Tom Crean

You can't help but notice the comparisons between our current governor and former Marquette and current Indiana basketball coach Tom Crean. Seriously.

1. Both are obnoxious, media-grubbing Republicans in their mid-40s.

2. Both look ridiculous- Crean with that pemanent tan of his, and Walker with that ferret on his head that's a lame attempt to cover his bald spot.

3. Both got their big-time jobs in Milwaukee at a relatively young age, and then lucked into prominence in the early 2000s. Crean rode Dwyane Wade to a Final 4 in 2003, while Walker rode Tom Ament's corruption and Charles Sykes' schlong to County Exec. in 2002.

4. Both make a big show out of how in control their are, acting enthusiastic for their cause and knowing how to kiss the right backsides and strike the right poses to impress those of lesser intelligence. But their records in Milwaukee weren't worthy of the adulation their supporters would give them - Walker never got Milwaukee County's finances in order and destroyed the level of services, and Crean won a grand total of ONE NCAA tournament game at MU without D. Wade, and couldn't even make the Big Dance 4 times in 9 years.

5. Both have been pathetic in the position they got promoted to after leaving Milwaukee. Walker is well on his way to being recalled and a sick punchline in Wisconsin history, and Crean is now a stellar 8-45 in the Big Ten at IU. (You know, Indiana basketball, arguably the best program in the Big Ten's history with 5 national titles, 8 Final Fours and the home state of "Hoosiers"?)

6. Both are owned by those goofy Madison libruls. Walker has been outplayed and humiliated by the protestors and thinkers in Madtown right now, and he has no legitimate answer for what they are bringing to him. And Tom Crean has now lost 12 out of 14 against UW for his career.

7. You get the feeling it'll end badly for both of them in 2012. And just like Marquette has ended up better off with Buzz Williams, Wisconsin will end up better off after the Scott Walker era ends.

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