Friday, March 25, 2022

A few words on the evils of cancer

I don't talk about personal stuff too often - at least serious stuff. You don't need to know that and why should I make you use your time to read about my life or the people close to me? You don't care and you shouldn't care - life is hard enough for yourself and your own lives.

But a friend of mine (and the husband of my wife's long-time best friend) died this week, only 3 months after being diagnosed with lymphoma. 48 years old, with 4 kids ranging in age from tween to 20-something. It doesn't seem real - we were just at their house 5 days ago and he went into hospice on Monday, and people my age aren't supposed to die for pretty much any reason. The randomness of all of it is what makes it both infuriating and baffling for me. My friend was in much better shape than me, worked hard and well for 25 years out of school, raised his kids the right way, and was a great, supportive spouse.

And he's the one who gets stricken and taken away from this world, leaving a widow under 50. Meanwhile, 300-pound Trump guzzles Diet Cokes and hamberders, and Ron Johnson actively injures people through misinformation and his Russian agency. And both of these older men grift and whine at every little item and honest criticism, complaining about what victims they are. Why don't those fuckos get cancer, have them and their family deal with real adversity and all of the end-of-life financial BS that has to happen, instead of decent contributors like my friend and his family?

It reiterates to me that a lot of things are temporary and can go away fast. Yes, save for retirement, etc., but that's only because not having to work means you do not have to answer to others unless you want to. What matters in life isn't what is owned, it is what is done, and who you are doing it with. Be around people you care about, be good to those people, and do what you can while you can (or relax and do nothing if you want to do nothing). Saving time and wasting it on small idiocies in exchange for a later payoff sure doesn't seem to matter a lot of the time.

I'm probably not taking this as heavily as some would think I should. I can compartmentalize a lot of these things - it's a skill a lot of us have gotten good at in these last 2 years of COVID and Trumpism and Big Lies and outright evil in the world. But there's no bigger evil in this world than cancer, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. The unfairness of it is what makes me shake my head the most. While you can say it's better that my friend doesn't have to deal with the pain and debiliations of that disease, there's no "positive" associated with that. Him being gone sucks now, and will suck worse in the coming days, weeks and months (I can't really comprehend that he won't be around). And while the rest of us continue to exist, the void will not be replaced.

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